I've got wedding planning fever...

2010-10-28T23:48:00.000-07:00

cake smashing time!

2010-04-29T21:34:00.000-07:00

Just a fun video of our lovely cake cutting :) The hubby saw me playing with my cake and decided to get me first before i got him.

contest: Sparkle Thots

2010-04-15T00:48:00.000-07:00

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Sparkle Thots is giving away this gorgeous hair piece! Hurry! contest ends 4/15!!! Head on over to Sparkle Thots to enter!

Although it's advertised as a hair piece, the piece is so versatile! Think of using it as a belt/sash to add some spice to a cute pencil skirt & top! Or, if you're getting married any time soon, use it as a sash to your wedding gown! In fact, the sash I had used for my wedding day originated as a hair sash! oh, the possibilities!

I'm swooning over this piece. I really love delicate, unique items such as these. Check out their jewelry too!

How adorable is this ring:

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I love the uniqueness of these earrings:

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I love sales.... it makes me buy things I don't need (or do I?)

2010-03-31T14:46:00.000-07:00

I got an email today from Magnet Street Wedding with a promo code for 20% off your purchase! Now... I know my wedding already past, but hey, we all need personalized stationary, right? haha. Well, I haven't bought anything (yet), but I wanted to pass on the promo code to you readers (if any even exist out there) just in case you DO need stationary of some sort of perhaps for wedding stationary!

The promo code is WGEN331
expires 4/4/10

Adorable Wedding Invites, for FREE!

2010-03-24T14:16:00.000-07:00

iDiy just posted this fantastic free invitation template kit from e.m. papers! Check out how cute these are!!!

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to get your free customizable template, go here
(this is for PERSONAL use only)

an untraditional entrance

2010-03-21T18:23:00.000-07:00

I just can't get enough of our wedding :) I love every detail of it!! One of the highlights for the wedding party (and hopefully our guests) was the men's entrance....

luckily, a friend was able to capture it on video for us...

so without further ado...i present to you, Husband and his groomsmen:

Married!

2010-03-21T15:06:00.000-07:00

I'm married!!!!!! Our Friday wedding was AMAZING!! Husband (formerly known as Fiance) and I are mini-mooning it up at the local beach for the weekend :)

In the meantime, here's one of my favorite pics from the day (from a friend's camera)

Top That, wedding cake!

2010-03-13T10:39:00.000-08:00

With a wedding cake topper of course! It was a difficult decision to decide what we wanted as our wedding cake topper. Did we even want one?? Fiance and I had somewhat discussed the idea of a topper, but we kind of just figured we'd throw some flowers on top to make it simple & easy.

but then, a genius idea hit me! and I wanted it to be a surprise. The problem was... it had to be customized... so off I went to my go-to-place for customized work- etsy.com

I looked for custom cake toppers. My vision was to have our cake topper resemble our characters from our save the date magnets:

So I scoured etsy, looking for someone who could make my idea come to life! And then I discovered Sophia's Workshop. After only a few conversations and a picture of our magnet- she created a sketch for us:

looking pretty spectacular right? I think so!
oh yea, if you're wondering about why my outfit is altered, it's because I asked her to add a flower sash that I'll be wearing with my dress and to put shoes on that resemble my wedding day shoes.

flower sash:

shoes:

So on Thursday, we get our fedEx package...the one I've been checking the tracking status every day and practically every hour to see when it was going to arrive!

I open up the box, tear the packaging open, and am sooooooo thrilled to see our topper:

I could not be happier. I showed fiance as a surprise..and of course, he loves it too!!

Are you planning on topping your cake with anything special?

Bachelor Party favors?

2010-03-04T09:48:00.000-08:00

I've heard of girls giving gifts to wedding shower/bachelorette party guests...but do men do it? Now, I'm not talking about groomsmen gifts, I'm talking about thank you gifts to the men (groomsmen and non-groomsmen alike) that go to the party and presumably, pitch in for the party. It only seems fair to at least thank the men that are helping pay for the awesome party, right?

So, fiance and I (ok, fine, maybe more me) decided to get small gifts to those attending his vegas bachelor party. Nothing fancy - because frankly, we can't afford it - just something to say "thanks" with.

The problem is: what do you get a bunch of guys, who are going to vegas to party, that doesn't cost an arm and a leg? ALCOHOL!

Since some of the guys are already pre-purchasing the booz for vegas, it seemed redundant to purchase more alcohol....BUT, what if it was a small souvenir sized bottle?? ah-ha!

and so fiance and i set out to our local booz shop (Total Wine & Spirits) and purchased some of these small suckers:

yep, small belvedere bottles of vodka.

So, to spruce it up and it make it look more festive- I found a vintage "las vegas" label, courtesy of www.i-do-it-yourself.com, i found these:

What's even more perfect is that the label, which I printed onto sticker paper to make into a sticker, matches perfectly with the small belvedere label that came with it!

Using some left over tissue paper and ribbon, I wrapped them up to look more festive and gift-like. I *think* they look good. :) A little more dressed up than without.

Have anyone else done gifts for their fiance's bachelor party? if so, I'd love to hear what you did!

DIY pocketfold instructions

2010-03-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

I made our own pocketfold invites (as seen below) using cardstock I purchased at Kelly Paper Supply, a score board, bone folder, a martha stewart edge puncher, and a handy dandy paper cutter.

The hardest part of making the pocketfolds (in my opinion) were getting the measurements just right. So, I'm going to share with you, the basics, a template, if you will, of how to make the pocketfolds:

Step 1: cut the paper so that it's 10.75" x 6.75"
Step 2 and Step 3 are interchangeable - this was my preference
Step 2: Use the martha stewart edge puncher and punch the design on one side (here, the left0
Step 3: using your score board & bone folder, score the card stock at the appropriate measures (as identified in the picture)
Step 4: create the insert holder

Step 1: Cut the cardstock 2.75" x 4.75"
Step 2: using the same craft edge punch, punch the top of the insert holder to give it the texture you want.
Step 3: score the paper at 1/2" margins on the left and right side & bottom

Now that you've created the pocketfold AND the insert holder, it's time to attach the insert holder to the pocketfold. Place tape along the three margins, fold the margins inward, and attach to the pocketfold.

And that's it!
Fold it up and marvel at your glorious creation! :)

Mr. President, you're invited!

2010-01-16T20:21:00.000-08:00

Really, President Obama, I sent you an invite, see for yourself! I'll now introduce to you our DIY invites. Everything was made except the paper, envelopes, and ribbon :P

Front

Back

What you first see when opening the envelope

the pocketfold, just upside down. lol. i can't get my image to rotate

inside the pocketfold

side components pulled out

As much of a hassle it was to make these, I actually REALLY enjoyed making all 100+ of these. Really. No sarcasm there! I was afraid I would end up regretting DIY these, but i'm glad I don't :) Making your own invites is actually quite easy. All you need is time and patience. A gocco machine doesn't help either!

two more of my favorite pictures

2009-09-29T22:12:00.000-07:00

we've been blogged!

2009-09-27T15:19:00.000-07:00

My fiance and I had our engagement session yesterday with the fabulous Moe of Moley Photography and we could not be happier with our session! We had a fabulous time, and i think, it's apparent from the pictures. Thank you Moe for doing such a F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S JOB! To see more, go to www.moleyphotography.com

Awesomeness that is Dessert!

2009-07-24T13:31:00.000-07:00

During this entire wedding planning process, I've been battling between getting a traditional wedding cake and a dessert bar. It seems like a waste of money to get both; not to mention a waste of food.

I've always wanted a cake, despite not being a big cake eater. In fact, I don't even think I'm that fond of cake. But yet, the tradition of having a wedding cake really appealed to me. But as the planning process started, I saw more and more dessert buffets. And today, thanks to Sweet & Saucy Shop's post on weddingbeepro.com, well, today I think I fell in love with the ultimate dessert bar... so much so that I think I might just forgo my desire for a wedding cake.

Feast your eyes on these babies:

(source for all photos above)

Are those not totally awesome and delicious looking, or what??

But then...I stumble across this picture on their blog of this gorgeous wedding cake:

source
It's so simple, clean, classic, and pretty. *sigh*

I'm torturing myself. Now, I'm back to where I was: cake or dessert buffet?
Well, at least I got one thing going for me- Sweet & Saucy Shop is in Long Beach, CA, which isn't too far from me. *score!*

I love Sales

2009-07-23T08:27:00.000-07:00

So this morning, I found in my lovely inbox, emails notifying me of a denim sample sale and a J. Hjelm (o-m-g!) trunk show coming up! If you're in the Orange County area, you should check these out.
ch-ch-check it out!

The trunk show is July 31- Aug. 2 at Mon Amie.
Mon Amie is located at:
355 Bristol Street | Costa Mesa, CA 92626 | 714-546-5700| www.monamie.com

source: www.TheWarehouseSale.com

Free "Get Married" Magazine Offer

2009-07-22T15:10:00.001-07:00

Who doesn't like free stuff? Better yet, who doesn't like free inspirational wedding stuff?

Register here to get your free copy of "Get Married" magazine, set to debut this October 2009.

Wedding Entrance - Just Dance!

2009-07-22T13:08:00.000-07:00

I love this! Such a collaborative effort on the part of the BMs, GMs, and bride & groom :) makes me smile.

Real Simple for only $5!

2009-07-16T16:26:00.000-07:00

Oh, you better believe it! Amazon is offering a full year subscription to Real Simple for only $5 buckaroos baby! Thanks to the broke-ass bride for posting!

Brideshare

2009-07-10T15:57:00.001-07:00

Have you heard of Brideshare? Read below for information from their webpage on what it is! I've signed up! if you're in the Los Angeles, CA area, perhaps we can become bride$hare buddies! :)

http://www.brideshare.net/
What if you could plan your wedding twice as easily, on half the budget? How does the thought of saving some green - while being green - sound? If this kind of wedding planning is right up your aisle, then you're in the right spot!

What is Bride$hare?
Bride$hare is a social networking site designed to help brides save money by sharing wedding-related resources and goods. Decor, apparel, rentals, and even vendors can be shared, swapped, or sold through Bride$hare connections.

Using Bride$hare is easy! After creating a profile, you’ll be able to* connect with other brides planning similarly themed or decorated weddings* find local brides willing to split costs by sharing goods and services* browse member profiles and photos for inspiration* use Bride$hare classifieds to find or sell wedding items

Our mission is simple: help ease pressure on the wallet - and the world - through the recycling and reuse of everything wedding related. After all, green is the new white!

MAC + Hello Kitty = LOVE

2009-01-18T15:23:00.000-08:00

thank you The Daily Cookie- for posting this! I can't wait!

all photos from http://dailycookie.net /

The Hello Kitty line will debut at Mac stores/counters on February 12, 2009!

digi poloaroid = poladroid!

2009-01-18T14:59:00.000-08:00

I really want photo booth at my wedding, but with the unknown budget FI and I have, we decided we would opt for the polaroid, as it's much cheaper than the actual booth. Well, polaroid decided to discontinue their cameras! Didn't someone tell them that I NEEDED THEM! apparently not. And that's exactly why i bought 2 polaroid cameras a few months ago...so that I can use them in our wedding...in 2010...makes sense right? yea. right. well, it totally sucks that the film expires in 2009! this year. great. I can always use the film to take polaroids of my shoes, right? :)

So, with all that rambling said, I discovered the new, "digital" polaroid, courtesy of weddingbee.com-- it's *drum roll*.... Poladroid!

You download a program onto you computer. Once it's up and running, you simply drag and drop a picture into the program, which, btw, looks like a polaroid camera on your desktop (see photo below), and it "develops" as if it's an actual polaroid picture! you can save it before it fully develops, if you like the old-er vintagey look, or you can wait for it to finish. Shaking it also speeds it up. Pretty nifty if i do say so myself!

here's the program open on desktop (please ignore the black spots- just blocking out some programs and files that you don't need to see) :)

drag and drop a photo into the picture and spits out your polaroid to develop...

and...PRESTO! you've got your very own digital polaroid!

unfortunately (not for me!) the program self-crops the picture...so, as you can see, my cousin on the right got x'd out of the picture. Sorry! :)

What do you plan on doing with this program?

Bride Wars - love the music!

2009-01-17T16:10:00.000-08:00

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So I finally went to see Bride Wars with my girlfriends. It was ... quite good, actually! (almost) definitely a chick flick. I say "almost" because...well, I like to think that some men will appreciate/like the movie. :)

The movie starts off with a very pretty song. As I'm listening to it, I'm thinking.."i know this voice! who is she?" Well, I never figured it out during the movie, but google, as always, has pulled through for me. So with that said, below is the soundtrack for the movie, for those who might be interested. Unfortunately, I don't think itunes has all the songs yet. I've checked. :( But, there is a good handful of songs that itunes does have. Enjoy!

source: IMBD.com

Beautiful People - Jason Glover, Dominic Glover and Gary Crockett
Bridal Chorus - Richard Wagner
Bridal Chorus Petit - Eric Zimmerman
Dream - Priscilla Ahn
Flute Quartet In C - Paul Fried
Get Ready For This - 2 Unlimited
Give It To Me Baby - Rick James
Happy - Natasha Bedingfield
I’m Scared - Duffy
I’m Too Sexy - The Hit Crew
Jesu Joy Of Man’s Desiring - Johan Sebastian Bach
Lively Scherzo - Elvio Monti
Pretty Please (Love Me) - Estelle
Pump Up The Jam - Technotronic
Rain On Your Parade - Duffy
Something Special - Colbie Caillat
Spring - Antonio Vivaldi
Tambourine - Eve
This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) - Natalie Cole
You Me And The Bourgeoisie - The Submarines
You’ve Made Me So Very Happy - Ryan Shaw

NWR. Another life lost to mesothelioma..."caused by lung cancer"

2009-01-12T23:29:00.001-08:00

For those who don't know, my father was recently diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma. Mesothelioma is a cancer that is caused my asbestos. Yes, it really does exist, and it's quite prevalent in the US. However, there is little awareness of this disease. In fact, this article below, just kind of proves my point. Asbestos fibers, when inhaled, attach to the mesothelial cells which are near/on (in? not sure- not big on human anatomy and science) the abdomen and lung. These fibers turn into tumors causing the deadly cancer, mesothelioma. Because it affects these areas, the disease is often (again, article is an example of my point) misdiagnosed as lung cancer. People probably also say "lung cancer" because it's "known" to the public. anyways- this MLB pitcher was exposed to asbestos, and had, according to the article, he had lung cancer "caused my asbestos." *ahem* this IS mesothelioma!

In any case.... this is quite sad. Another person has fallen victim to this deadly disease that has no cure. In fact, the US government, knowing that asbestos are dangerous and is a great health concern, have yet to ban its use! insane.

To educate yourself on mesothelioma, please visit

www.curemeso.org

Former big league pitcher Dave Roberts dies at 64

Fri Jan 9, 4:05 PM EST
Must Read?Yes 151

MORGANTOWN, W.Va. (AP) — Dave Roberts, a left-handed pitcher who played for the 1979 World Series champion Pittsburgh Pirates during a 13-year career in the majors, died of lung cancer Friday. He was 64.

Roberts died at his home in Short Gap, according to his wife, Carol, and stepdaughter Kristy Rogan.

Rogan said Roberts had developed lung cancer from asbestos exposure as a young man. During the offseasons, he worked as a boilermaker.

Roberts went 103-125 with a 3.78 ERA for eight teams, beginning in 1969 with the San Diego Padres and ending in 1981 with the New York Mets.

The Pirates got him from the San Francisco Giants in a five-player trade in June 1979 that also sent Bill Madlock to Pittsburgh. Roberts went 5-2 for the Pirates and made one relief appearance in the NL championship series that season.

Roberts also played with Houston, Detroit, the Chicago Cubs and Seattle. He finished second in the NL to Tom Seaver with a 2.10 ERA in 1971 for the Padres, and set career highs of 17 wins and six shutouts with Houston in 1973.

``Dave was the consummate pro,'' Astros president of baseball operations Tal Smith said. ``He averaged 35 starts and 12 wins a year for the club during his four years as an Astro, but he'll really be remembered and missed for the leadership he provided and for being such a good guy.''

Born in Gallipolis, Ohio, he had lived in West Virginia for more than a decade. Short Gap is about 120 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.

The Associated Press

SOURCE

Last thought for the night

2009-01-04T01:57:00.000-08:00

one last "thought"

times have changed in 6 years

2009-01-04T01:31:00.000-08:00

it's been 6 years since I have blogged. A lot has happened in those 6 years...a lot! I will update my blogs more on a daily basis, but for the time being, this picture is a pretty good update.

2002-12-07T00:41:00.000-08:00

Today was a happy and sad day. Well sort of. haha. Well hai and i went to the health office to get his stomach checked out cuz it was still in pain from what we thought was an ulcer. Well we found out that it is not an ulcer but is instead acid reflux disease. Wow he upgraded his illness! well he got prevacid for it, let's just hope this will make him better. Well as we were waiting for the doctor, his friend calls up and asks us if we want a puppy b/c a family friend of his (hai's friend) girlfriends was giving away 6 golden retrievers. And we said sure, unsure of whether we were allowed pets in our condo or not. Well we said yes anyways figuring that if the landlord said no we cant have pets, then...well we would give it to someone. SOO we (grace, hai and i ) were all stoked because we were gonna get a boy and girl puppy. But then i found out that all the puppies were given away. :-( so sad. yea...so afterwards, rather than getting the dog, which were were gonna do b/c we didnt have work today, grace, hai, hung and i went to s. coast to get our paychecks. DAMN! such a small check! haha i wasn't even able to pay off one of my credit cards! (well my cc bills aren't THAT much...and thats why i say my paycheck was SOOOO little). I like work and all...it's very enjoyable...BUT they dont give me enough hours. So im thinking about quitting if i dont get more hours. I mean..i have like 12 on call hours and like 4 for-sure hours. On calls are like...you might work and you might, you just call an hour or two ahead of your "scheduled" shift and they'll tell you wether they need you to come in or not-- and basically, I havent been called in yet. In fact, last week instead of working from 3-8, they told me at 5:00 that they didnt need me and that i could go home. I should have been happy..especially since it was a saturday and all...BUT GEEZ!!! i had absolutely NO hours that week and i really wanted to work since i already planned my saturday around my 3-8 shift. Owell, our manager said she's gonna give us more hours, it was just that they had to cut some hours for some reason or another.

Well...i dunno i have work tomorrow. If anyone has time, come by and open up a credit card with me!!! i need to open credit cards!!! FYI my shift is at 5:00-9:00pm and on call from 9:00- closing. So if you wanna help me out and open a credit card..come by to the Victoria's Secret store at South Coast Plaza (it's near Sears and Abercrombie kids on the second floor). :-D YES COME SEE ME!!!!

Well i guess i have more time to study for finals, which are next week!!! ahhH! damn i hate finals! i haven't studied for any of my classes yet. OMG i am sooo bad!!! ah.

Hm...i know this is really off topic...but i just gotta say that i realllllly hate people who have a double standard! well i can't say that i hate it..or them..but it just bugs me sooooooo much! omG i just find it sooo ridiculously annoying and immature! i only bring this subject up because it is going on right now! argh. not with me though...but still, as an observer, it bugs!

2002-12-01T20:12:00.000-08:00

I miss my high school friends :-( those were some good times. I don't know, it just seems as if the stuff you did back then was sooo much more fun than anything else I have experienced in College. I mean, I like the indepence and all, and I have met some great people, such as my roomate Grace. But i have to admit...nothing will ever replace my high school years with lydia sohn, annie chen, chrystal wang, tammy dorje, kristin ito..and o gosh...i can't even think right now. I MISS YOU GUYS!!!! and i'm sorry if i don;t call you guys....i know it's my fault-- i should totally make the effort since you guys always do... i'm not even gonna make any excuses, even if they are legit, i'm not even going to try to justify it b/c it doesnt matter what i was busy with.

Well here's a little update in my life-- well thanksgiving was WONDERFUL! i had a great time! i spent the entire day-- well most of the entire day-- helping my mom and my sister prepare for dinner. It was then that i really really really missed being home. I'm sure we have all missed home once and a while, but i was a little saddened that we (my mom, sister and i) don't really spend our days there, together, anymore. I just missed waking up at home and finding my mom in the kitchen or running around the house and my sister watching tv out in the living room and then going out together. We do that stuff on weekends, but not on a daily basis like back when we were still in high school. hm..those were some good times too. Plus, now i have a new job at Victoria's Secret (which is absolutely fun and great to work!!) and they need me mainly on weekends, so that again prohibits me a bit from going home. So anyways....yea I had to leave Thanksgiving night because i had work Friday. It was pretty sad leaving.

SO yea..thanksgiving was a nice day cuz almost everyone was there including my grandpa. Might sound wierd for some of you guys, but if you don;t know, my grandpa is now in a convalescent home. I was a little scared that he would feel like he was unloved and all....wich actually i still feel a bit, but he says he likes it. every time i see him or my mom sees him he says he really likes it and how he doesnt even feel like going home anymore. But i dunno...the first day i went to go visit him, i couldn't help but cry a bit cuz i felt sad for leaving him there. But now i feel a little bit better now i guess.

Anyways.... so yea aside from all that (i'm getting a bit mopey now...) i had work today at 7am!!! ahh i had to wake up at like 6 to get ready and get there in time. I havent woken up that early since.....since high school...WAIT! i never even woke up that early in high school!!! hahahaha. GODDAMN! that's early for me!.

Well i was just updating this a little bit because I was taking a little break from my hw session right now. I just needed a little breather..also i just read Lydia's online diary and it inspired me to update mine and to tell all of you how much i miss you guys!! everyone! you guys know who you are! and if not--this means: Lydia, Kristin, Chrystal, Annie, Tammy, My sister, my mommy, my cousins mitzi and michelle..and my grandpa..and everyone else i forgot to mention. haha

2002-10-15T20:52:00.000-07:00

DAMN! i never thought i would say this...but I NEED TO STUDY and I CANT because everyone is too LOUD! ahhhh sometimes i wish i just had an empty house so no one would bother me with their IM sounds or the tv! why cant people just have the commone courtesy of turning their IM noises down?????? ahh i dont get it. I have a midterm tomorrow~ not that im stressing over it now or anything, cuz i think i'll do fairly ok, but i mean....for once i actually want to study on a daily basis, but my living conditions sorta prohibit me from doing so! geez....it sorta bugs after a bit....

Hai's coming back from lab...and we're gonna go to this outside cafe place so we can study...he sugested the science library at school but that place makes me tired.... being surrounded by wierd nerdy people and nothing but dim lights just puts me to sleep man! *sigh* ok well i gotta finish reading my book so i can properly take my midterm tomorrow. Wish me luck...and lets just cross our fingers that the noise level will slowly decline. :-D ok...

bye..

(its about time the Angels are going to the World Series!!!)

2002-10-08T23:34:00.000-07:00

DAMMIT! i hate blogger! why do they make this shit so hard to use sometimes???? do they not realize not everyone wants to read their bullshi*? ahh its driving me insane...wahhh~ ahh~oooh~.. :-T U ALL SUCK!!!

haha jk. :-T
im bummed now...i feel so incompetent of computer crap!

2002-10-08T23:27:00.000-07:00

i wanna blog where i can add pictures-- but it's too hard and i dont wanna bother with it cuz it takes too much time too! hmph! owell...i dont even think i have any pictures i would put up anyways...haha

*my finger still hurts*

2002-10-07T10:41:00.000-07:00

woah! havent written in here for a while. ANyways...my thumb REALLY hurts from this infection i have on my thumb due to a STUPID hang nail! *i hate those things!!!* the swelling is gone but the pain is sooo excruciating!! ahhhh! anyways... heres a quote that i really like...got it off of a friends aim profile:

One day you'll ask me which is more important - my life or yours. And I'll answer, "my life," and you'll walk away without ever knowing that you are my life.

*sniff* too bad it doesnt apply to me though...haha. ok..BYE!

2002-07-04T11:25:00.000-07:00

Wow its been almost a month since i wrote in here. Hai's sleeping right now, and i was just bored. So anyways, life is great-- bf is great, condo is great...life is great. hm..ok i guess i didnt really have anythng to say-- thought i did, but i guess not. O yea! my sister is back from Australia! :-) ok thats it!

2002-06-14T02:02:00.000-07:00

things are better-- he gave me a hug and a kiss :-D and we made up. Gawsh he is such a good bf...I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

~** HAPPY ONE YEAR and TWO MONTHS!! **~

2002-06-13T16:11:00.000-07:00

Today was suppose to be a day of happiness.... Its my 1 year 2 mos. anniversary with hai~ but he got mad at me today for something so incredibly small! it hurts...i hate it when he's mad at me... it was something soooo incredibly little. So here he is-- lying down and not wanting to talk to me.. why? because he said i made him feel bad... geez-- i try not to think about it...but every time i try-- i just think about it even more and more..and then i just want to cry-- but i dont want to let the tears out because I don't want him to feel even worse-- i think i cry too much over these things, but i dont know how to control them, its just...this is the only way i know how to relieve everything. Sometimes i just want him to give me a hug and a kiss and everything will be better-- that never happens....he doesnt make me feel as special as I once did. It makes me so sad. I love him so much...and I know he loves me too-- maybe even more-- but sometimes i just dont feel it from him. and it scares me sometimes and i just dont know wut to do. I dont get why he just ignores me sometimes when hes mad... i try to ignore him-- but i just end up trying to talk to him because i cant act like other girls do-- pretending as if nothing happened...i just cant. And so here i sit, not knowing what to do. I want to pretend as if nothing is wrong. I want to pretend I dont care. But most of all, I want to pretend that it doesnt hurt as much as it does.

i dont want to cry-- but the tears are coming out anyways.... :-(

2002-05-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

HEY! my page is not working! hmph!! bastards!!!

Well its early in the morning, and hai is at work....and I don't feel like going back to sleep. Anihoo...I'm watching I Love Lucy right now. :-)

OOH! our condo...I LOVE IT!!! its so cute and cozy. I wanna move in right now...like move-in MOVE-IN..some of my stuff is already there but i want to officially live there. Hehe..it's fun to live in. i'm excited.

Woo-HoO!

2002-05-18T01:17:00.000-07:00

ok..changed my template again, thought this one is much much cuter. ANyhoo~ so yea..we finally got the condo! its sooo nice! im having a blast just moving in and all...there's a lot that needs to be done,but overall i'm having a blast! i love going shopping to buy stuff for the house..so exciting! haha...yea so anyways, one of the things i need to do is change the shower head...damn, thats gonna be hard.

OOhh..my stomach hurts. i think it's cuz i brushed my teeth and then drank some watered down OJ. :-/ erh..i don't feel too good. Hrm..well i guess im gonna go to bed..gotta wake up at 8 to go to stupid work! i hate that place! ughhhhh....but i gotta work my 5 hours a week! har har..ok bye bye

2002-05-11T19:50:00.000-07:00

Hello all..SO YEA..the housing situation is pretty much settled. The main problem is whether we're gonna ge the lease or not...because 2 other people are looking at it too..and i suppose the lease-ee would want whoever she approves of the most...so i dunno. Im just crossing my fingers..i hope we get this place. It's so cute! Eh..on a darker note...i hit hai with my phone yesterday :-( well, more like i threw it at him. I shouldn't have done that. >_< i regret it so much. He's not mad at me anymore..but he was...oy, that was so bad of me to fo that. i sorta chucked it at him cuz i was so frustrated. damn.....

Well..there's nothing i can do though. I did it and i can't take it back...all i can do is just keep apologizing. But at least everything all worked out in the end...nothing too catty. yea..so things are just lovely between us. ANd people...DONT WORRY! we're ok! haha...yea tammy said it sounds as if things are kinda "eh" but they're really not. Im not complaining much...i dont have much to complain about..so things are good..just housing was a bit of a stress on me...but that will hopefully be over soon. OH! if we get this house...im moving in this week! damn so early huh??? owell...can't help it. ok..bye bye!

2002-05-07T00:20:00.000-07:00

Hmm...today was very stressful. well i thought everything was ok..but then we started talking about housing situation. kicked hai out...kinda pissed because it was so last minute...man...not what i was expecting when we were going into this meeting about living situation. *sigh* and then to find out that after all my hard work at finding a house...no one wants it anymore. I mean..c'mon guys..u should have told me....i could have saved a LOT of my time if you guys had just told me from the get-go... i dunno..im kind of sad too just cuz its like, i worked so hard and yet..no one cares..u just want a townhouse. You've been wanting a townhouse and none of u guys told me...well u sort of did..but you guys never confirmed it with me...so i just kept lookin, and u guys said it was cool..and now this. :-( i dunno..just made me a bit stressed. I didnt mean to burst out into tears and all..but i mean... i worry. i worry for him. i mean..its mainly my fault that he's "homeless" for next year..its my fault because i told him he could live with us, u guys even said it was cool...and then im the one who also has to tell him that he can no longer live with us..and what makes it worse is that him AND his bro are "homeless." I mean..im just in a situation where i dont want to be in. I DUNNO! i mean...im mad...but not really. im just a lil peeved b/c u didnt tell us earlier...or at least voice your concern. We could have saved all this. :-/ i just feel like i let everyone down. Thats the worst part. I let you guys down...i let my bf's bro down..and most of all, i let my bf down. Of course he's not gonna be mad at me..he loves me too much to be mad at me..but still!! Like..we're not a drama-type couple. i KNOW everything would work out ok...i dont worry about that. We love eachother too much to let the little stuff get in our way. Thats why i dont worry...hasnt happened before..and it wont happen in the future. Call me naive, but we're living proof of it :-)

<3 I love you hai <3

2002-05-06T12:57:00.000-07:00

*sigh* just finished watching All My Children. good episode. :-) anwyays..so in like an hour or so, im gonna go check out this house....its nice..hopefully its nice inside and we can lease it...i hope!! and then i gotta go to the post office. My neighbor just came by asking me for some readings... but i dunno wut i did with it. I think its in the car...but im not sure. aiya. i dont know... o haha my sis emailed me from australia and she told me theres this show that goes on tour called "puberty of the penis" and i guess these 2 guys go around doing shows while naked and they make shapes with their penises or something. haha that'd be an interesting show. haha

2002-05-06T00:53:00.000-07:00

Well..this is my first entry. Hm..what do i say? well i guess im just going to splurge whatever is on my mind.
This template i used is ugly...but its green, and green is my favorite color...so...i guess ill stick with it. Damn, i know theres gonna be a shit load of typo's in here, owell...i dont really feel like going through a stupid grammar check, you should understand what im talking about anyways. So today i found out that this house we (my future roomies and i) want has been reduced by $100. It isn't a lot when you split it into four people, but wutever, it just seems cheaper...and well im asian...and im cheap~! har har har. (all u asians know its true! ur stingy like theres no other! admit it! haha) well anyways...my eyes are burning...but i cant go to sleep yet cuz hai, who is behind me...is playing Gauntlet Legends. He's trying to gain back our health on that game. Its really fun...i like it...but only when its me and him in the room..when other people are here, it gets distracting and annoying..and its just not so fun. hmph. Aycarumba (i wonder how u spell that....) im tired...but i dont want to go to sleep..especially since i dont think im going to class tomorrow. I really should, but i dont feel like it. hah! So anways...On friday i slipped in some mad ass mudd while trying to walk down a lil slope cuz i thought it would be faster to the parking lot from my dorm hall. Damn! i slipped...and my ass was full of this nasty mudd. Then i tried to get myself up after i fell...but i couldnt..and i fell AGAIN! it hurt. When i finally got up...it looked like i took a mad ass shit in my pants. MAN IT WAS SO NASTY! :-( so sad. wutever, thats what i get for being a lazy ass...haha wutever...im not mad or anything...just laughed it off...it was funny. painful, but DEFINATELY funny. After i slipped, i went to my dorm to change..while changing i banged my head on my closet door-- THats hurt too! Then finally i went out to look at a house on the lake....AND THEN! to make things any worse...i get pulled over. WHY? because there have been recent burglaries in the neighborhood and the suspects where asian males...and of course...they suspect me because im carrying hai (my bf) and 3 other guys in the car who are asian. GREAT~ ! so anyways...he pulled us over, took me out to talk to me...searched the guys, made us sit on the curvb..then searched the car...found nothing..cop felt like a dumbass and let us go. sheesh! i was so mad..and scared too! man! ive never been pulled over!!!!! it was scary...i started crying.~ i hope i made the cop feel bad! BASTARD~ irvine cops man. And the thing tha makes it worse is~ well hai had a writing class he was late to since we got pulled over and a midterm right after...and we asked the cop for a note as proof in case he was late to his midterm...and the cop said "i dont think u need one. they should believe you, its irvine." MAN THAT MADE ME SO MAD!! but what can u do? u cant talk back to a cop. hmph. well anywas....my weekend was much much better. saw spiderman...very GOOD! then went to universal studios...
This was all a very interesting weekend. FUn indeed! :-) ok..well im going.....hai's still playing games..haha and my roomie is sleeping...bYE!